Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Hyp.o.crite


I hate hypocrites. I loathe them more than anything in this whole wide world! This year's going to end in about 72 hours approximately. The year 2010 taught me many lessons ranging from how cruel and selfish this world can get to how to deal with jealous people who don't really know what problems they have with me. But the one lesson which I would never forget is how to cope with dual-faced losers called hypocrites. Yes, they have been constantly present in my life trying to do God knows what.

Let me define to you who a hypocrite actually is: It's the person to whom every popular senior is an idol, every prone-to-be-flattered teacher a mother, every smart-and-good looking friend a sister etc. They know absolutely nothing except for how to build profitable relations with influential people and then using them like a tissue paper before throwing them in a bin. They lack originality and don't know who they actually are, but still they would certainly butt in everywhere they are required not to interfere. That, to a certain extent, sums up their persona.

These hypocrites are the main reason why often good relations erode and go down the drain. Being the main cause of disturbances and problems, they love giving rise to chaotic situations. They would say something and do exactly the opposite of that something. The main place where you can easily detect their presence is- your local school. Schools are filled with these parasites who are at all time looking for a host. What makes them easy to detect is their unrealistic sweetness which starts budding wherever they see they can get profit.

I wonder why people are so scared of their real selves? Are they ashamed of who they are? Scared that they might get rejected because they are not good? The main reason why a country like Pakistan which is bubbling with enthusiastic youngsters isn't progressing is because these youngsters are scared of showing who they actually are. They fear that if they admit that someone is better than them it would lower their self-esteem. They fear admitting that they don't like the unjust system of their school. They fear admitting that they have beliefs different from others. They just want to fit in in a society which is materialistic and deprived of moralistic values. Thats it. They can not see any one happy and are never self satisfied. They want others to be unhappy because they aren't happy. They want others to suffer because they suffered. But you know what? The funny part is that I have absolutely no issues with this aim of theirs- of making others suffer. But what annoys me is this- they don't have the guts to do all this without hiding their faces which clearly shows how guilty they are. They would pretend as if they are benefiting the other person but on the other side they are the real stabbers. They would pretend to share your sorrows but in the true sense they are the ones giving you that sorrow.

If you are proud of doing something that is right according to you but wrong according to the world, then do it confidently. If you are proud of your opinions and decisions, then be brave and bravely act upon them. Stop being a coward. Stop using that flowery language while conversing with the person you hate the most when you know that you haven't yet dissolved that grudge you have against that person. Hypocrites are cowards. Big cowards- who don't have the guts to face the world with their REAL self. They cover themselves up in different veils trying to morph into different figures just so that they can hide their ugly personalities. And such people are a curse for our society.

Be yourself. We all have a hypocrite hidden inside us, which most of us let out very easily. And that hypocrite soon brings us into the limelight of this world but simultaneously shoves us into darkness and deprives us of gem-like relations which are based upon pure intentions. If you have a problem with someone, tell that person. Cry your heart out before doing that, whine in your friend circle but at the end of the day share it with the person it concerns. That person has a right to know it. And yeah, stop ruining other people's lives just because you didn't have a perfect life yourself. That's unfair and inhuman. Last but not the least, build friendships with strong bases, not expecting the other person to express their affection in words all the times, showering you with praises and gifts. Expect them to hide some love. That strengthens relations more than the one expressed in front of the world. Cheers!


Friday, December 24, 2010

Re-bonding blood relations


From time immemorial, it is a common belief that one thing that erodes the relationship between parents and their children is generation gap. Or in other words, lack of compromise from either of the two sides. I've always read and heard and seen things indicating the beautiful bond that links parents to their children; the unconditional love, innumerable sacrifices, years of teaching, all together sum up what this bond really means to a child in the early years. They bring us up in the best possible manner, fulfill all our needs by putting a full stop to their own desires, help us in distinguishing between right and wrong, support us every now and then, listen to our non-stop chattering, put sense into us and save us from every monster that's about to eat us in our dreams. When one's going through this period of utmost innocence, parents seem to be angelic creatures committing no sins, doing nothing wrong.

But as we grow up and reach our adolescence, our cynical view of the world turns these super-natural beings into normal humans- just like everyone around us. Then, as if we're under a spell or something, we object to every single thing they do- it now seems too immature when they kiss us on our foreheads before we leave for an exam, it seems too childish when they force us to gobble up that egg sandwich before we go to school, it seems too embarrassing when they enter the room occupied by our friends and start talking in a motherly/ fatherly manner to us. With time our perspective towards each and every action of our parents changes. And then, we feel that being independent would be the best thing in life. Having no-one asking you where you're going, or giving you sermons about what you should be doing and what not, or watching every action of yours with keen interest as if you're about to commit a crime.

Sometimes I feel we're absolutely wrong in placing our parents in the same category of 'to-ignore' people and regret all of my very own actions (done intentionally). That is when my conscience pricks. It bites me. And when this happens I rush to my mother and snuggle up close to her feeling the warmth of her presence. At that moment I wonder, what would life actually be like when she wont be around. I brush up that thought instantly, because I know that then I would, in the true sense, realize what a harsh world I am in.

That is one side of the story. The other side consists of their actions towards us when we reach adolescence. I agree that during this period one feels as if he's super-intelligent and fully aware of all that is happening in the world. Sometimes this self-confidence turns into an unbearable attitude problem. I have faced this a million times to date. I can not keep my mouth shut when I feel that whatever they are doing is wrong. When it comes to a stranger, one thinks a thousand times before blurting out anything. But when it comes to your parents, there is no hesitation, there are no barriers and you feel free to say whatever you want. That is NOT wrong. But the way youngsters usually convey their message is DEFINITELY wrong. 'Never do or say something when you're angry'- that's something cliche but very true. The 'generation gap' that I mentioned above is just an excuse- yes, just an excuse when it comes to ruined relations with parents. Generally it's this anger, that is all the time bubbling inside many youngsters and when this volcano of anger erupts, it just gives lava, ash and loads of smoke. Nothing positive. But you see when this very lava of emotions cools down after MILLIONS of years it turns into diamond and its true worth is realized. Before that it simply remains worthless. And these millions of year give birth to misunderstandings.

Parents understand everything- yes, whatever is happening now and whatever happened in their times. They make concessions which we rarely see, they do change but we rarely appreciate their efforts, they do try to fit in inside our world (the non-cynical part) but we rarely acknowledge that. They have been trying constantly, but we've been ignorant of their efforts. Conveying a message with love has the correct effects. Trust me. Simply say what you intend to say politely and they would definitely ponder over it. Anger just ruins everything. The part that concerns the parents now is this that they should clearly accept their faults. When they shy away from their mistakes which the children tend to point out, it just gives the child an impression that my dad is definitely not Super-man. I sometimes have arguments with my parents JUST because they are not willing to accept their mistake and if they are correct they are not willing to explain where I am going wrong.

Small small mistakes grow up into pointless misunderstandings. Both the sides have to compromise. Both the sides have to reason their opinions when voicing them. Both of them have to be on intimate terms, and understand each other's situation more then only their own. Over here there's no battle to be won or lost. It's just about strengthening the relation to the maximum possible extent. Because this relation has no profits and no losses. It's the purest of all relations and hence, the best one. We need to cherish it so that we have good, happy times to reminisce and share with our grandchildren.