Tuesday, December 28, 2010


I hate hypocrites. I loathe them more than anything in this whole wide world! This year's going to end in about 72 hours approximately. The year 2010 taught me many lessons ranging from how cruel and selfish this world can get to how to deal with jealous people who don't really know what problems they have with me. But the one lesson which I would never forget is how to cope with dual-faced losers called hypocrites. Yes, they have been constantly present in my life trying to do God knows what.

Let me define to you who a hypocrite actually is: It's the person to whom every popular senior is an idol, every prone-to-be-flattered teacher a mother, every smart-and-good looking friend a sister etc. They know absolutely nothing except for how to build profitable relations with influential people and then using them like a tissue paper before throwing them in a bin. They lack originality and don't know who they actually are, but still they would certainly butt in everywhere they are required not to interfere. That, to a certain extent, sums up their persona.

These hypocrites are the main reason why often good relations erode and go down the drain. Being the main cause of disturbances and problems, they love giving rise to chaotic situations. They would say something and do exactly the opposite of that something. The main place where you can easily detect their presence is- your local school. Schools are filled with these parasites who are at all time looking for a host. What makes them easy to detect is their unrealistic sweetness which starts budding wherever they see they can get profit.

I wonder why people are so scared of their real selves? Are they ashamed of who they are? Scared that they might get rejected because they are not good? The main reason why a country like Pakistan which is bubbling with enthusiastic youngsters isn't progressing is because these youngsters are scared of showing who they actually are. They fear that if they admit that someone is better than them it would lower their self-esteem. They fear admitting that they don't like the unjust system of their school. They fear admitting that they have beliefs different from others. They just want to fit in in a society which is materialistic and deprived of moralistic values. Thats it. They can not see any one happy and are never self satisfied. They want others to be unhappy because they aren't happy. They want others to suffer because they suffered. But you know what? The funny part is that I have absolutely no issues with this aim of theirs- of making others suffer. But what annoys me is this- they don't have the guts to do all this without hiding their faces which clearly shows how guilty they are. They would pretend as if they are benefiting the other person but on the other side they are the real stabbers. They would pretend to share your sorrows but in the true sense they are the ones giving you that sorrow.

If you are proud of doing something that is right according to you but wrong according to the world, then do it confidently. If you are proud of your opinions and decisions, then be brave and bravely act upon them. Stop being a coward. Stop using that flowery language while conversing with the person you hate the most when you know that you haven't yet dissolved that grudge you have against that person. Hypocrites are cowards. Big cowards- who don't have the guts to face the world with their REAL self. They cover themselves up in different veils trying to morph into different figures just so that they can hide their ugly personalities. And such people are a curse for our society.

Be yourself. We all have a hypocrite hidden inside us, which most of us let out very easily. And that hypocrite soon brings us into the limelight of this world but simultaneously shoves us into darkness and deprives us of gem-like relations which are based upon pure intentions. If you have a problem with someone, tell that person. Cry your heart out before doing that, whine in your friend circle but at the end of the day share it with the person it concerns. That person has a right to know it. And yeah, stop ruining other people's lives just because you didn't have a perfect life yourself. That's unfair and inhuman. Last but not the least, build friendships with strong bases, not expecting the other person to express their affection in words all the times, showering you with praises and gifts. Expect them to hide some love. That strengthens relations more than the one expressed in front of the world. Cheers!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Re-bonding blood relations

From time immemorial, it is a common belief that one thing that erodes the relationship between parents and their children is generation gap. Or in other words, lack of compromise from either of the two sides. I've always read and heard and seen things indicating the beautiful bond that links parents to their children; the unconditional love, innumerable sacrifices, years of teaching, all together sum up what this bond really means to a child in the early years. They bring us up in the best possible manner, fulfill all our needs by putting a full stop to their own desires, help us in distinguishing between right and wrong, support us every now and then, listen to our non-stop chattering, put sense into us and save us from every monster that's about to eat us in our dreams. When one's going through this period of utmost innocence, parents seem to be angelic creatures committing no sins, doing nothing wrong.

But as we grow up and reach our adolescence, our cynical view of the world turns these super-natural beings into normal humans- just like everyone around us. Then, as if we're under a spell or something, we object to every single thing they do- it now seems too immature when they kiss us on our foreheads before we leave for an exam, it seems too childish when they force us to gobble up that egg sandwich before we go to school, it seems too embarrassing when they enter the room occupied by our friends and start talking in a motherly/ fatherly manner to us. With time our perspective towards each and every action of our parents changes. And then, we feel that being independent would be the best thing in life. Having no-one asking you where you're going, or giving you sermons about what you should be doing and what not, or watching every action of yours with keen interest as if you're about to commit a crime.

Sometimes I feel we're absolutely wrong in placing our parents in the same category of 'to-ignore' people and regret all of my very own actions (done intentionally). That is when my conscience pricks. It bites me. And when this happens I rush to my mother and snuggle up close to her feeling the warmth of her presence. At that moment I wonder, what would life actually be like when she wont be around. I brush up that thought instantly, because I know that then I would, in the true sense, realize what a harsh world I am in.

That is one side of the story. The other side consists of their actions towards us when we reach adolescence. I agree that during this period one feels as if he's super-intelligent and fully aware of all that is happening in the world. Sometimes this self-confidence turns into an unbearable attitude problem. I have faced this a million times to date. I can not keep my mouth shut when I feel that whatever they are doing is wrong. When it comes to a stranger, one thinks a thousand times before blurting out anything. But when it comes to your parents, there is no hesitation, there are no barriers and you feel free to say whatever you want. That is NOT wrong. But the way youngsters usually convey their message is DEFINITELY wrong. 'Never do or say something when you're angry'- that's something cliche but very true. The 'generation gap' that I mentioned above is just an excuse- yes, just an excuse when it comes to ruined relations with parents. Generally it's this anger, that is all the time bubbling inside many youngsters and when this volcano of anger erupts, it just gives lava, ash and loads of smoke. Nothing positive. But you see when this very lava of emotions cools down after MILLIONS of years it turns into diamond and its true worth is realized. Before that it simply remains worthless. And these millions of year give birth to misunderstandings.

Parents understand everything- yes, whatever is happening now and whatever happened in their times. They make concessions which we rarely see, they do change but we rarely appreciate their efforts, they do try to fit in inside our world (the non-cynical part) but we rarely acknowledge that. They have been trying constantly, but we've been ignorant of their efforts. Conveying a message with love has the correct effects. Trust me. Simply say what you intend to say politely and they would definitely ponder over it. Anger just ruins everything. The part that concerns the parents now is this that they should clearly accept their faults. When they shy away from their mistakes which the children tend to point out, it just gives the child an impression that my dad is definitely not Super-man. I sometimes have arguments with my parents JUST because they are not willing to accept their mistake and if they are correct they are not willing to explain where I am going wrong.

Small small mistakes grow up into pointless misunderstandings. Both the sides have to compromise. Both the sides have to reason their opinions when voicing them. Both of them have to be on intimate terms, and understand each other's situation more then only their own. Over here there's no battle to be won or lost. It's just about strengthening the relation to the maximum possible extent. Because this relation has no profits and no losses. It's the purest of all relations and hence, the best one. We need to cherish it so that we have good, happy times to reminisce and share with our grandchildren.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Shattered Dreams

Her smile used to mesmerize me. Her eyes made the stars lose their brilliance. When the wind would blow, her golden locks would flow with it, merrily, in a harmonious motion. She was perfect. And I was in love with an angel.

Sarah was the reason why I lived; the reason why I smiled; the reason why life meant so much to me. Being an orphan, my life was a living nightmare...nothing more. I had no known blood relations- I was a stranger in this unfamiliar world. But when I entered high school, my life took a new turn.

Now it wasn't only me, it was 'us'. Sarah and I spent eight years together; laughing, smiling, crying, dancing- Living life in the true sense. Worries, tension, problems, failure- We had pushed these words out of our dictionary. Till we were together, life was perfect.

But one day, everything changed.

"Josh, I have to tell you something...I should have told you this before..."
I could sense that something was wrong. Her once sparkly eyes had lost their charm.
I looked into her troubled eyes.
"What? You didn't find that dress you wanted for Lauren's party?" I merrily asked her.
She smiled. It was a crooked smile. Something was definitely wrong.
"I want to end this relationship, Josh. I have to..."

Her voice faded. I had been struck badly. It seemed as if my mum had just told me that in reality I had been dropped by a stork from heaven.
It was unbelievable; I could sense my heart beat going slow. My hands went numb, and my vision blurred.

Sarah, why did you do this to me? You said we'd stay together. You said we'd get married. You said we'd live together, laugh together, cry together. We were half-way through- and you promised Sarah...you promised that we would die together...side by side...

I couldn't say this. I had no strength. Sarah was my strength. But my angel was no longer with me.

Three days later, the phone rings. I'm too weak to get up. My punctured hands can not move. I need it...I need the syringe, the phone can wait.

It keeps ringing. I give myself a doze of heroin. It feels so good. I feel so happy, just like I was when Sarah was with me. Look what you've done to me Sarah....
I pick up the phone.

"Josh? Stacy here. Erm...well, I am really sorry about Sarah..."
My heart skipped a beat.
"Sarah is no longer with me. We broke up. OK?" I shouted.
"Josh...Sarah passed away yesterday. It was last stage Leukemia. Didn't you know?"
I dropped the receiver. My lips were trembling. A tear trickled down my cheek and then slowly beads of tears covered my nose-bridge.

It was obvious she never intended to keep her promise. She knew she had less time. She knew she would die before me. She knew we couldn't die together, side by side.
My angel left me- this time forever.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Paul Coelho - "Warrior of Light"

Those who appear in your life whether to help or to harm,are all sent by God. Meet all of them with a peaceful heart but with a warrior's spirit. You will fail many times but in failing you'll learn and in learning you'll find your way. Remember there are no mistakes in life but only lessons. And lessons will keep on repeating themselves until learned!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Makes me wonder....

As every second passes by I become more and more insensitive. Bomb blasts, fights on petty petty issues in school , useless assumptions, apparent misunderstandings, bound-to-perish expectations...the conclusion of everything just accumulates as a huge lump in my blood and dissolves within no time. Every day I live a new life, forgetting everything that happened yesterday or day before yesterday. Hundreds of people die; I hear the cries of the helpless people, non-stop, on every TV channel; my heart aches- but the moment that sight vanishes, I'm back to normal.
Yes- this is the life of a typical Pakistani teenager.

It seems as if everything has value except for humans. The strip of 'Breaking News' seems to be permanently fixed on every news channel containing something or the other related to the the number of deaths. 25...54...63...these figures seem to be nothing more than just numbers. They portray absolutely nothing; not the number of families getting ruined, not the number of children becoming orphans, not the number of wives becoming helpless....they're just hollow numbers, nothing more.

We pity those who die, thank God that we're the lucky ones not involved in it, and sleep after praying hard that tomorrow too we end up alive...and not as one of those who are being mourned upon now. We become insensitive, because we can't feel their pain. It just reflects from the surface of our bodies, instead of penetrating into our hearts. And even if at times, the pain does penetrate inside and succeeds in melting our hearts, our brain remains unaffected and our actions unaltered. What can we do?
Cry? Protest?
Or move on; just like we have been doing since the past 63 years.

The fact is that now no-one cares. Why should they? they're alive. They're safe. And they have some hope that they will keep on surviving.
But who knows what nightmare tomorrow might bring with it...

You see nothing matters here...Nothing except your own life. We're programmed that way- to sit and watch with our hands folded. We want opportunities to appear all by themselves, we want success to follow us wherever we go, and we want to be happy without shedding even a single tear. We love remaining non-motile, stationary- just like non-living things. All we care for is our pain. Now, all of us can't be Mother Teresa! But what we can do is talk. And not the productive talking, mind you. We can discuss events temporarily, just to calm our conscience. We can put emotes on statuses, we can use 'big big' phrases to express our sorrow...and that is where our abilities come to an end. That's precisely how we get rid of our guilt. But our souls still have blood on them. Blood of those thousands of innocent people who lost their lives- in vain.

Whatever is happening will happen. I can't stop it. You can't stop it. Let's be selfish- We've always been selfish. Now why should we stop and ponder. We all have our very own escape- double nationalities?
People will die- 'They' (Apparently it's always the Talibans- That does make me wonder a LOT) will keep on killing them ruthlessly, mercilessly, inhumanly. We'll watch, remain mum, blog about it, put up statuses, expect a holiday the next day- and sleep. Our living nightmare would come to an end. And we'd then live in our dreams...trying to imagine a happily ever after.
We'll build castles in the air and the moment we'll open our eyes- a bomb blast would turn the mere foundations we had laid down for those castles into nothing but rubble.

I wish I could help those children. I wish I could help those mothers. I wish I could help my brothers and sisters. I wish I could help humanity. I wish I could help them all.
But I can only wish.
Do dreams really turn into reality?

Friday, September 10, 2010


Ramadan is over. No more fasts and today is Eid (a festival celebrated across the world by Muslims to express their gratitude to God after the Holy month of Ramadan).

My past had been very different from my present. I very well remember that I used to be really excited for Eid. But tonight, I am no longer enthusiastic about the big day. For me it was just another day, when I smiled despite the immense pain I'm hiding inside. No-one can see it. And the day ended just like any other day.

I had planned to blog about a lot of stuff, ranging from the rainy day in Karachi to my wildest dreams, but now I am so shattered that even the thought of sharing my fantasies has lost it's charm.

My mind is too occupied with these lyrics:
" Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first; Sometimes the first thing you want never comes; Sometimes the waiting is all you can do...Sometimes."
(Song: Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung)

I wanted so many things; I dreamt so many dreams; I built so many castles in the air hoping to lay foundation beneath them, but after just one day; after that very moment, everything went down the drain. Those dreams, those desires, those castles...all vanished into thin air, forever. Being grateful for what you have is, I guess, the most difficult thing to do. I have so much to be grateful for, but just because ONE dream of mine got shattered, the idea of having my other dreams fulfilled seems quite far-fetched.

And that one dream had so many tiny tiny sub-dreams attached to it. So many things were linked to that one wish. When that dream got shattered, for a moment, I felt as if my world shattered. Everyday I live a life which I never wanted to live. Everyday I walk over a path filled with thorns- My feet bleed, profusely- but I have to go on. I have to walk on that very path, with no destination in mind. It seems as if my hands have been chained, my mind deprived of it's wild imagination, and my world left colorless. I feel as if my happiness has been snatched away from me...and I can do nothing to regain it back.

While ,my world undergoes this unusual phase, everything is being affected. My eyes have lost their sparkles, and my soul has become restless. Every now and then, I feel confused. I don't know whether I should assist the thief of my dreams or not. Whenever I do anything with good intentions, keeping my personal gain miles out of it's parameter, I end up giving the impression that I am trying to dominate others; trying to get what I didn't get... illegitimately...And that is when I lose hope. Does this world deserve me? Does it deserve my good will?

It's a repeated fact that the world is going on because of a few good people..I wonder how they coped up with such tough times. Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandela...they didn't succumb to the immense pressure laid upon them from those who didn't agree with their views. I wonder when I will be able to recognize my strength. I wonder when I will get that inspiration which makes people do the impossible...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Golden Words

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Edison

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
- Gandhi

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
- Robert Orben

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."
- Oscar Wilde

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein

"Inches make champions".- Vince Lombardi


Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. —Seneca


Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

Monday, September 6, 2010

Friends Forever

I am a very ambitious person. And that's one reason why people don't like me. I just want to do everything. EVERYTHING! Tonight, when I close my eyes and think about my past I have faint memories of my childhood. All I remember are my laurels, my trophies, the number of prizes I received every year, the comments of my teachers, and the behavior of my classmates towards me. To a certain extent, I guess all of this has played a major part in making me cynical.

I was, a year ago, the opposite of what I am today. I could just see problems around me- problems and problems but no solutions. I was just too pessimistic! I would cry over petty issues, and even a simple joke would seem to be something really big to me. Life was bad. Life was colorless.

I just wanted to get out of school as soon as I could, because I wanted to escape from this hell. Yes, it was hell for me- in the true sense. Without friends it was supposed to be like that.

I was a kind of a person who just hated making friends, especially best-friends. It all just sounded and seemed so fake-y. I mean, gimme a break! You don't have to hold your hands and go to the canteen together or have your lunch together or only talk to each other during break or tell each other about your family issues or call each other 24/7 or write on each other's walls continuously and keep on saying that 'Oh! I so love you!', if you're best friends. It's not necessary for best friends to finish each other's homework, or hug each other every now and then. It is all very fake-y! The relationship is so materialistic! So benefit-oriented! And the funny part is that after a few months the supposedly best friends would fight over a petty issue and part ways forever.

That is why I never wanted a best friend. I just wanted a friend- who'd be no less than a sister.

I've always believed that you can never MAKE friends; some people are just destined to be a part of your life, and you meet them the moment when God has planned your meeting with them- these people are 'friends'. They come when you really need them, when no-one else would turn around and share your grief or burden...It's not about homework or lunch. It's neither about expressing every single thing nor making everything very obvious. It's about keeping some things hidden, leaving them unexpressed, beckoning the other person to figure them out on their own. I guess the most powerful things in one's life are not necessarily that easy to express- just like motherly affection which is always coated with scolding.

I thought I'd remain friendless till the end, despite the fact that I had a humongous friend list on face book. But then when I was going through the most difficult phase of my school life; when almost every person seemed unworthy of being trusted; when everyone seemed to have a personal grudge against me; when everyone had a misconception sowed in their minds; when I was left on my own- the thing I believed in, finally, happened.

I found people whom I could trust, who were better than many around me and who gave me strength to stand tall against all odds.
They were my strength. Not the materialistic strength; not the ladder to my destination. No. They were more than the worldly meaning of 'friends'. They were family and they still are.

I feel happy that now I don't have to shed even a single tear alone. Because I have people who would wipe my tears before they fall onto the ground. Now I'm not alone, I'm not cynical, and I definitely believe in many things which I previously felt were too far fetched.

I haven't said this clearly since a long time but this post is especially for you all: Iqra (aka Azizi), Bushra (aka Bush), Rabiya, Hoora, Fatima, Monazzah, and Fatima Arif- I love you all :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A New World

I really don't know what to write in this post. It's been a long time since I blogged properly, and now I guess it'll take me quite a lot of time to get back on track. Life has been going on really fast, as in REALLY fast. So much happened and a lot is going to happen; sadly, I aint prepared for it.
Was hell busy during the vacations with the election campaigning stuff; elections took place and the results were announced. Just as i had expected- I lost. Well, it wasn't THAT bad, but yeah... it was bad. Though I still get to wear the gown *smiles feebly*.
Have been recently travelling in a rickshaw quite often (trying to be independent :P). Rickshaw drivers decorate their rickshaws as if they're brides or something. I mean, seriously! And the worst part is that they've got six to seven rear view mirrors! and these mirrors have all sorts of stickers on them- multi coloured ones...but the colourful rickshaws do sometimes distract me from the real world outside; the world that is almost black and white; the world which has a lot of pain hidden somewhere.

I had always dreamed of travelling around the world (NOT in eighty days :P), just like any other teenager, but after my independent little journeys within this little Karachi, I realized that before I go out trying to fulfill this major dream of mine, I'd rather see my own city first, 'properly'. Seeing Karachi doesn't refer to going shopping or visiting the museums, mausoleums, or churches! It simply means going to places where I'd be able to see the hardships of life, the power of a simple smile and the little little things which make life worth living.

On my way back home from tuition, I often take a few pictures (I'm not a good photographer and therefore, sometimes tend to miss amazing moments that would have been worth capturing). Take a look:

Ask yourself again- Is your life really that hard?

That's a part of the 'City of lights'- a part unknown to many of us, but a home to many apart from the 'many of us'

A mini-flood?

To this person might be hygiene holds less importance than his children...but oh well! Imagine the number of bacterias, and viruses infecting those fruits!

The reason why Karachi is Karachi and not Islamabad! Ever tried taking a ride in this?

Home sweet home?

Playing with marbles- and enjoying every single bit of the game...That's called 'contentment'!

A typical news-stand. Newspaper anyone?

I wish I could bend over the walls of my present like this and peek into my future!

Modified Rickshaws! Want a ride???

Couldn't have missed this one! <3

A picture is worth a thousand words because every picture has a story to tell- a story which we all pay no heed to.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Trust me- I really don't care!

One should stop caring about what people think; Because they will think beyond their capacity and then misinterpret stuff..........Can't limit their thinking,sadly... so why bother?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Within minutes, the world of those 152, comes crashing down...

7 a.m.
I woke up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, telling myself that I couldn't go back to bed. It was the same old morning; pretty weather, little sunshine and slight chances of rain. I had decided to go to SIUT today for volunteer work and for that I needed my coat. I spent almost an hour looking for it...It was a very annoying situation, and I was close to tears when I couldn't find it. Without that one coat, I couldn't have done what I wanted to do. That coat was the MOST important thing to me at that time.

And the moment I found it, I was literally jumping up and down! I was extremely happy; the thing that was hell important to me was in my possession once again. All this while, I didn't even have the slightest idea, that today so many families would be losing something more precious than anything in this world; And they would never be able to get them back again. I remember my eyes welling up with tears when I couldn't find my coat (a-not-so-big-issue). I wonder how those families would have coped up with their loss- something irreplaceable.

Margalla Hills- the most beautiful spot in Islamabad, turned into a deadly place today for those 152 passengers. A place which gave you a reason to live, ended up being the last place for those 152 people. Words cannot replace the loss of those families and neither can tears.

I was packing up brochures in the RGO office, when all of a sudden our supervisor switched on the television.

"The morning Airblue flight from Karachi was preparing to land when it went down in the fog-shrouded Margalla Hills to the north of Islamabad."

Plane crash. Air Blue. Karachi to Islamabad. Margalla hills.

Each word slowly processed in my brain. It was something hard to take in. I had been on the same flight last year, and even this year. I could have been one of those who lost their lives today. I was just a bit lucky.

My mum told me that there were three IBA students amongst those who died. Moreover, she told me of a family who lost their daughter; She was an air hostess, and she had been supporting her family through hard times. According to her parents, she was the son of their family. There was even a newly wed couple amongst the dead, who were going for their honeymoon. And then recently, I just got to know that an ex-mamaian too passed away. No-one survived. 152 lives- lost forever.

How the plane crashed, no-one knows. The beautiful weather, the magical rain, the mesmerizing Margalla Hills- everything lost it's charm.

All that was left was - Smoke, Tears and Pain.

Everything ended.

All of a sudden, our faith in God was strengthened more than ever. Once in a while such incidents do open our eyes and make us realize how temporary this world is, and how fake our lives are.

May the souls of those who died in this tragic incident rest in peace and May God give patience to their families to bear the loss of their loved ones. Amen.

PS: Death is something none of us can run from. None of us can predict it either. Live your life as if any moment could be your last moment. Make the most of this life. You're lucky not to be amongst those who took this flight.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Optimism at its best!

This is something that was forwarded to me by my uncle. It motivated me like hell, so i thought of sharing it :)

-When the Snake is alive, the Snake eats Ants.
When the Snake is dead, Ants eat the Snake.
Time can turn at any time.
Don't neglect anyone in your life.

- Never make the same mistake twice.
There are so many new ones.
Try a different one each day.

- A good way to change someone's attitude is to change our own.
Because the same sun melts butter and also hardens clay!
Life is as we think, so think beautifully.

- Life is just like the sea, we are moving without end.
Nothing stays with us, what stays with us are just memories of some people who touched us as waves.

- Do you want to know how rich you are?
Never count your currency, just try to drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that - that is true richness.

- Never change your originality for the sake of others.
No one can play your role better than you.
So be yourself, because whatever you are YOU are the best.

- A baby mosquito came back after flying the first time.
His dad asked him "How do you feel?"
He replied "It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!"
Now that's what is called Positive Attitude.

Let The Rain Fall Down

It's been raining cats and dogs here in Karachi.

I had my hopes high, that I might just end up seeing another rainbow, but all in vain.The sun was out of sight ( Yes, for us Karachiites, it's like heaven not having the sun over our heads) and all you could hear was the pitter patter of the raindrops crashing against the window sill. Luckily, KESC (Karachi Electric Supply Corporation) has been merciful and this time we weren't tortured by the frequent load shedding.

My devilish sisters have been dancing out in the rain since an hour, and are still not over with it. According to them such a time won't ever come again (though it has been coming every year consistently) :P. On the other hand, My mum has been cancelling all her schedules because of this rain; And she, unlike my little sisters, despises rain. I have been doing nothing but sitting idle; texting, eating, facebooking and sleeping (in short: a very not-so-productive day). Seriously, I am no longer interested in the rain. The gloomy sky mesmerizes me more, because it just reminds me of the miseries of hundreds of people out there, who are not as lucky as I am.

Our maid usually comes in the morning to clean up the house, while my mum is away at the hospital. This morning she wasn't there. Though it wasn't something unimaginable, the question why she didn't come was bugging me. In the afternoon when she arrived, I guess out of curiosity, I asked her a very foolish question.
"Why didn't you come in the morning?"
She looked at me and smiled. After a minute, she said:
"Beta, We're not as lucky as you all are. You might be enjoying the rain, sitting here in your cozy home but we have to bear a lot of hardships. The rain is not a blessing for us."

I was lost for a moment.

And I felt bad. Since then I was actually praying for the rain to stop. So many people get electrocuted; So many scanty settlements, which are home to thousands of people, get destroyed; Construction of roads which has been on the move since ages gets further delayed; The inefficient drainage system increases the miseries of the not-so-fortunate people; Those poor stray cats have no where to go (I wonder how they get along in the rainy season); The livelihood of so many people gets interrupted......

But I guess everything has negative and positive aspects. The rain is,indeed, a blessing and that is something one cannot deny.

When I was young, I used to pray like anything for the rain.As soon as the vacations would start, I'd constantly pray for it. I loved the rain just like my little sisters. With the rain, who could forget the delicious pakoras and samosas with home made chutneys! It was a relief from the scorching heat of June. But for some, it just meant destruction. So let's just pray that when it rains, everyone gets a share of their happiness. Nothing could be better than a little rain with yummy pakoras and a happy ending :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Live life to the fullest!

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Islamic Veil and Me

As soon as you see a lady, with a head scarf on, enter into the same room in which you are present, the first impression that you would get of that lady is- "UFF! Another religious freak". And the second thought that enters your mind is this- "Of course, she belongs to a conservative family, where parents don't allow their daughters to go out alone on their own and are extremely 'religious'."

This is what you extract from the first sight of that person. And then most probably you decide to keep a distance from her. On the other hand, if the same lady would have entered the room in the same way without a hijab, you would have probably mingled with her a lot sooner.

I have started taking hijab too, and just when I had spent two days in this attire, I ended up facing a lot of questions.

Hijab according to islam (whichever sect you belong to) is something very necessary for a woman. Islam doesn't force women to wear a 'burqa', but covering the head is a must. I wear loose clothes, and I don't wear a 'burqa', but I do cover my head. And that is perfectly fine according to what the Quran has laid down and what the Prophet has said.

I would like to quote a few verses from the Quran here.

Quran says in Surah Nur, Chapter# 24, Verse# 31:

“And O Prophet, enjoin the Believing women to restrain their gaze and guard their private parts and not to display their adornment exceot that which is displayed of itself, and not to draw their veils over their bosoms and not to display their adornment except for their husbands…………”

Quran says in Surah Al-Ahzab, Chapter# 33, Verse# 59:

“O Prophet, enjoin your wives and daughters and the women of the believers that they should let down over their faces a part of outer-garments; it is expected that they will thus be recognized and not molested. Allah is Forgiving and Merciful”

I guess the above verses from the Holy Quran, make my reasons clear for taking Hijab. It simply means that it is an obligation to cover yourself. If we have entered the folds of Islam, we are bound to obey the commands of The Almighty, and follow the Holy book and the Prophet. And I decided to act accordingly.

But the moment I started taking hijab, the perspective of many people changed towards me- like hell.

Apart from hijab being a religious obligation, another reason why I actually started taking a hijab is this that I felt inclined towards doing so. I don't belong to an orthodox family, in which parents force their daughters to wear a 'burqa' when going outside. My parents have never ever forced me to do such a thing, neither has any friend of mine. It's just that sometimes you feel like doing something, all of a sudden. Sometimes your conscience just shakes you, and makes you realize that you're doing something wrong. And that is EXACTLY what happened to me, and the next day I decided to do what I wanted to do. We all believe in 'free will', and are totally against any form of 'oppression'. Then it was my 'free will' that made me do something that I desired. Hijab is not an oppression, neither does it seclude one from her surroundings. Instead I would say that it is something that makes a woman more confident. I want to make my own decisions, and I guess this is one life-changing decision that I have made. I've received negative and positive responses from many people, but that hasn't affected me in any way. Wearing a hijab makes me feel more secure and now I feel more confident while I venture outside on my own. In the western world women can wear bikinis (they have the free will to do so) and no-one ever gives them similar responses as given to a lady who decides to cover her head. I don't understand, why we have to face such responses; if they decide to expose their bodies, then I decide to cover it up properly. The only difference is of the thing that they want to do. But 'free will' is there, in both cases.

So yeah, it's better if a person would be judged by her character, rather than by the way she dresses. If she looks decent enough to be approachable, then i guess it's perfectly alright. Covering your head, isn't being an extremist. It's just about practicing your own will. I did that, and I'm quite satisfied with my decision!

PS: I am not a religious freak.

When I was one-and-twenty

A lovely poem. Thought of sharing it :)

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
'Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.'
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
'The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.'
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.

A.E. Housman

Monday, July 19, 2010


I've got this weird feeling right now, thanks to my dearest friend, which I have been trying to release through many ways but all in vain. Went shopping with my mother, for the first time (enthusiastically) started taking hijab, and even spent quality time with my family (usually I don't do this so it is a BIG deal). But still I feel awkwardly weird. People often say that if something is bothering you a lot, you should try to divert your attention from it, think about something else and blah blah blah...Today, I tried all that crap, and in the end realized that it's nothing but sheer nonsense. Close to me, the best way to get rid of something is to release it somehow. And that is why I guess I would be releasing this mountain of emotions here, in a not-so-mushy language.

So it all started when I met someone very normal, just like the other billion people surrounding me, who had nothing in him cept brains (yeah, the REAL ones). June 2009 seemed to be going pretty well, with his entry in my life, because he was supposed to be someone I liked 'using' in order to release my emotional frustration. One month passed by, and we had this chemistry between us, which brought us even closer. Before that I had been a very non-sharing type material, who liked keeping stuff to her own self; but here he was- charismatic, intelligent, sensible (so unlike me) and caring. I was hell envious of him and his goodie persona, and I couldn't do anything cept drool over how perfect he actually was.

And then it all started.

I started confiding too much; Not that I regret doing that now, but I made myself too vulnerable, and open to getting hurt. After all, I was a normal teenager! (not that I'm proud of it) I would just go on and on and on, releasing every single burden off my mind, and it helped. It helped a LOT, but then I just realized that I had lost one very important thing- the fact that it was MY life. I just couldn't hide anything from him, and might be by releasing certain things I made a fool out of myself in front of him. I had a very abnormal life, yes, hell abnormal. Problems seemed to be following me wherever I went, and I just loved making my life even more complicated than it already was. And there he was, with his simple life- yeah, the happy-go-lucky type. He would knock sense into me and help me in figuring out solutions to my not so problematic issues. And then I just started relying over him, for everything. Every problem seemed a mystery to me, and I wouldn't care about it because I knew that my friend would eventually chalk out a solution to it. Half a year went by, and my friend started taking this reliance upon him, as some sort of an insecurity of mine. I became too clingy, and that raised barriers between us. I was becoming unbearable for him, and he decided to shake this burden off him (not that I blame him for this).

JUST after a month, we were friends again. Yeah, my problems, his solutions and life was going very smoothly. It still is, though with a few changes. He's been there for him at every moment- frustrated, angry, pissed- but he still remained with me. Now that I want to make decisions on my own, I have this decidophobia- whether I should do it or not. Sometimes I don't agree with his opinions, but my previous mistakes always remind me of the fact that I'm prone to faltering and he isn't. We've had arguments,resulting in me giving up every time. The thing that he doesn't understand now is this, that I want to make my own decisions now. I want to make mistakes once again and learn from again. I'm done with the spoon feeding, now I want to use my own brains. Before this I was foolish, might be I still am, but I miss making stupid decisions. They made me learn so many things which I wouldn't have learnt by any other means. I can't say this to him, because I know he's already done a lot for me. If only he reads this post.

I miss making mistakes. I miss laughing at my foolishness after a stupid act of mine. I miss making a fool out of myself. I miss being care-free, not caring about the outcomes. I miss everything.

I want to be clumsy. I want to be human in the real sense again.
Though you still mean everything to me :)

PS: This was the least mushiest thing I've ever come up with. Please bear it.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Decidophobia And This Society

I wonder why life is so complicated...or is it that I like to make my life complicated...But all that I know for now is that I want to do so much but all that enthusiasm vanishes when I realize that I have so many 'realistic' (not imaginary) hurdles in my way. Tonight after offering my prayers it just struck me that i should be taking a hijab, and just when this thought crossed my mind, another thing hit me: Would I be able to cope up with it? What would my friends say when they'd see my head covered?

This society is slowly and slowly (though I don't know whether unknowingly) depriving us from our free will. This might be sounding weird but it's true! Before doing anything we do think twice about what people will think or what kind of a personality would I be portraying in this society. And all these queries eventually stop us from doing what we actually 'want' to do. So are we free? Physically, yes. Mentally, NO.

I wonder when I would overcome this habit of caring too much about the opinions of others. And I know out there, there might be millions of people facing the same problem. Can life ever be simple?

Life's Unanswered Questions..

I am really confused. I have always read about racism, different sects, religious differences but never did I pay that much heed to it, since i felt that I would be perfectly fine with my own beliefs and within my own little bubble. Now as I grow up I realize the complication of these differences. You can't say that other person's wrong, neither can you say that you are absolutely right; But then WHO is right?! Is there even an end to this ongoing vicious cycle in which one opposes and the other has an answer prepared for it all the time? Can a child feel mentally secure over the fact that whatever he's following is actually what he should be following? When would we know what is right and what is wrong? Or will we all die in this confused state of mind, in a quest to figure out the solutions to these unanswered questions?

The following is a paragraph I just read, and thought of sharing it here:

"The Succession to Muhammad concerns the various aspects of successorship of Muhammad after his death, comprising who might be considered as his successor to lead the Muslims, how that person should be elected, the conditions of legitimacy, and the role of successor. Different answers to these questions have led to emerging several divisions in Muslim community since the first century of Muslim history; the most important of them are Sunnis, Shias and Kharijites.

From a historic viewpoint, with Muhammad's death in AD 632, disagreement broke out over who should succeed him as leader of the Muslim community. Umar ibn al-Khattab, a prominent companion of Muhammad, nominated Abu Bakr. Others added their support and Abu Bakr was made the first caliph. This choice was disputed by some of Muhammad's companions, who held that Ali ibn Abi Talib, his cousin and son-in-law, had been designated his successor. None of Muhammad's sons survived into adulthood, therefore direct hereditary succession was never an option. Later, during the First Fitna and the Second Fitna the community divided into several sects and groups, each of which had its own idea about successorship. Finally, after Rashidun caliphate turned into Monarchy and Sultanates, while in most of the area during Muslim history Sunnis have held the power and Shias emerged as their opposition.
From a religious viewpoint, Muslims later split into two groups, Sunni and Shi'a. Sunnis assert that even though Muhammad never appointed a successor, Abu Bakr was elected first caliph by the Muslim community. The Sunnis recognize the first four caliphs as Muhammad's rightful successors. Shi'as believe that Muhammad explicitly named his successor Ali at Ghadir Khumm and Muslim leadership belonged to him who had been determined by divine order.
The two groups also disagree on Ali's attitude towards Abu Bakr, and the two caliphs who succeeded him: Umar and Uthman Ibn Affan. Sunnis tend to stress Ali's acceptance and support of their rule, while the Shi'a claim that he distanced himself from them, and that he was being kept from fulfilling the religious duty that Muhammad had appointed to him. Sunnis maintain that if Ali was the rightful successor as ordained by God Himself, then it would have been his duty as leader of the Muslim nation to make war with these people (Abu Bakr, Umar and Uthman) until Ali established the decree. Shias contend that Ali did not fight Abu Bakr, Umar or Uthman, because firstly he did not have the military strength and if he decided to, it would have caused a civil war amongst the Muslims. Ali also believed that he could fulfil his role of Imam'ate without this fighting ."


And now I realize why people don't discuss religion and why they blindly follow what their ancestors have been following. Because they know that in the end all that they'll be left with would be a puzzled up mind.
May God help us.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Reminiscing the Good Ol' Times

9th July 2010 marks the end of the SUPER-AMAZING time i spent in this one 'summer camp' volunteer work. Sadly. When it had started I never knew that I would get so addicted to everyone and everything. And now when it's over I feel incomplete. The kids with faded smiles, faintly twinkling eyes, worn out faces have become a part of my life in such a way that now even if I try to erase the memories of this one experience I would never be able to do so. I fell in love with the kids, made new friends, and realized how hard it is to teach someone something 'valid'.

Yousuf Goth :
Had to convince my mum and go to NIC. Pure Khwari- Seriously! But in one day teaching at Yousuf Goth turned out to be the most amazing thing that ever happened to me :) Uroosa, Hafsa, Amyn, Sabih, Tanvir, Umer and Bilal- they were patient enough to bear my tantrums and I , strong enough to bear their almost-unbearable sarcasm (Hint: Bilal and Sabih). Uroosa's 'motherly' advices :P and Hafsa's scolding kept me in control; Amyn's so-not-grammarian attitude shocked me beyond words. And poor Amyn never understood Sabih's urdu sarcasm :P (dude, you have no idea how well he targeted you :P) ; Umer's innocence :P convinced me to give him the title of the 'shareef-est' Grammarian ALIVE :P ( or as Uroosa says: "He's from SPRINGFIELD"- so the shareef-est Springfield-ian :P); Tanvir was someone whom I always misunderstood (Sabih knows in WHAT way). Well, his silence even had an effect on me :P Sabih's confidence in himself was something to get inspired from. Though the play didnot go very smoothly, but still it was a success. His sarcasm was bearable to an extent :P though I still havent forgiven him for uselessly victimizing the so-much-better-than-patrichians 'mamaians' :P And last but not the least, Bilal Ahmed Khan. I still hate you for your witty comments, and not-so-hilarious-according-to-me statements which specifically targeted me! Paulians should learn to respect mamaians. Or else..........

Kher, I love you all (don't take this in the wrong sense :P) and I’m definitely going to miss each one of you! I only got to spend four days with you all. If I would have spent three whole weeks, I would have definitely lost my mind (Don't be surprised, I DO have one :P)


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

“Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all”

The greatest thing you'll ever learn,
Is to love and be loved in return.
~ From "Unforgettable with Love" by Natalie Cole

It’s true that at this age, understanding the true essence of love is almost impossible. What we may think is ‘true love’ might turn out to be nothing but infatuation, or in other words just a ‘crush’.

Almost every other person is this world is in search of that one person, who would give them the oh-so-amazing sensation of floating amongst the clouds, or being the luckiest person alive. When you ‘fall’ in love, you feel as if you’ve found the purpose of your life; the world which was once upside down turns back to normal. Even when everything is going the wrong way, the support of that one person is enough to face all those challenges because then you realize that you’re not alone. This might sound too movie-ish or book-ish, but this is something you just cannot deny. I know life is not like a movie (like Titanic) or a book (like the Alchemist), neither can one have a love story similar to Romeo Juliet, or Heer Ranjha. Instead everyone has a story of their own, filled with hurdles, hardships, happiness, sorrows and might be a not-so-happy ending.

The biggest fear of a person is to be left alone with no-one to share his happiness or sorrow with. We can go on building up that mountain of emotions within us; we can go on pretending that we’re strong and unbreakable; we can go pacifying our very own soul that we can live on our own in this selfish world.
But deep inside we all know that we need someone to share the story of our life with; someone who’d scold us madly when we would do something stupid; someone who’d knock some sense into us; someone who’d wipe our tears, kiss us on the forehead, and tell us that everything is going to be alright.
And we all need that special someone.

So yeah, even if it turns out to be an infatuation or even a simple ‘crush’, give it a try.
If you truly love that person, there’s no way that anything…yeah, anything whether it be religious differences or this cruel society, would come between you. Because when you love someone, you think beyond all this, and the entire universe helps you in achieving what you truly desire. This isn’t just a line from the Alchemist but a fact of life. If you know that you cannot live without someone, that simply means that the person is now a part of your body and your soul.
And you cannot live without a part of your own self. Can you?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Built Up Emotions

30th June.
Finally June ends. I didnt study much (unlike my previous vacations); No timetables ( because I knew this that I wouldnt be following anything); was OBSESSED with volunteer work (the only good thing about June); and made flowers (yep! the paper ones which require a LOT of hard work).

In short, this month was quite different from the previous 'Junes' that I have spent. As in, I didnt sit like a couch potato, glued to the computer 24/7 and neither did I spend time digging books like a NERD. This time it was all 'cool cool' as i like calling it. I got to experience new things in life ranging from mopping to teaching. It was beyond my imagination that a profession like teaching could be such a difficult task. Not only does it require a LOT of patience but it even demands attention. Three hours day seemed like ages. We DID enjoy ourselves, but the exhaustion that took over us cannot be mentioned in words. Panadols and juices became VITAL for survival. But still, every day brought with it new lessons. For instance, it was during this period that for the first time I traveled in a rickshaw alone. Not only this, but I even did the bargaining thingy with the rickshaw driver which is supposed to be a mummy-type task :P

Through volunteer work at SIUT, I realized how blessed I was. Not that I was a spoilt brat before , but just like every other incident that stimulates your conscience, this event too opened my eyes (for the gazzilionth time) and this time, Im trying to FOR SURE make myself a contented person :)

With target killings going on; illiteracy shadowing the lives of talented kids; improper provision of basic necessities ruining their health; hatred invading every person's heart and the gap between the middle class (NOT the rich because that is OUT of the question right now) and the poor increasing like anything, all a teenager could do to divert his mind and to invest in his society (for self satisfaction and not only a certificate) is do volunteer work. Even if it means two hours a week. We should now stop thinking about our own selves and give a thought to those who need us. Not because we're better than them or because they RELY upon us- No. only because we're all humans and we cannot give proof of this humanity which we claim is ours unless and until we DO something 'unselfish', something without a reason, for God's creation.

Monday, June 28, 2010

And June ends with this......

Never have I felt like this before. Friends were supposed to be friends, and it just seems weird having them as your rivals all of a sudden for nothing BUT ONE POST! hah! I wish I had backed out! I feel pathetic fighting for sth as small as this. I mean, not fighting with others; but fighting with my own self, curbing the feeling of jealousy. Ive never wanted this. Last year of school was supposed to be my best year. But with such a beginning, I cant expect a very good ending. Life seems challenging. And this time it's about everything! Everything is at stake. Never have I taken sth as seriously as this. Everyone seems to be a hypocrite, a liar, a back stabber. Every second passes by in a jiffy. Vacations were supposed to be productive! I just got myself stuck into a big mess and now there's no way out. Either I win, or lose with respect.

Moral: Life's not always fair. Sometimes it favors you beyond your expectations, and sometimes it just kicks your butt when you're expecting a kiss on the cheek. You gotta learn to live with it!
It's not about winning every time; sometimes it's about letting it go, just to show the world that you can't get everything that you deserve :)

Monday, June 21, 2010

Sucky Day

Today was a pathetic day. Well, not THAT pathetic. But yeah, 'pathetic'. And for this 'patheticness' the credit goes to ONE person.

I am DYING to do volunteer work at The Citizens Foundation and they have no space for more volunteers. I mean, HELLOOOOO? It's VOLUNTEER WORK! Just take me in!!! pleaseee!
Worse than that, my friend got into TCF! and Im being teased like hell!! Who wouldn't like the idea of having adorable children flocking around you, who call you 'Teacher! Teacher!' and look up to you as a role model????????

I still admire some of my teachers and would definitely like to be somewhat similar to them. I soooooooooo want someone to feel the same way about me. And this was the ONE MAJOR opportunity I had which I blew away. Now, all I can do is listen to the tales of TCF (courtesy Bilal Ahmed Khan) and burn inside. :/

And to top it all, while going through my 'lovely' dictionary, I came across a few words which gave me a shock. Not that it was something absolutely alien to me. But whatever it was (cannot mention it here- yeah, you guessed it!) made me go all still for a while. And Im still not over it. WTH! Dictionaries should be censored too! Oh! My poor, innocent mind! :(

PS: I WANT TO JOIN TCF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I love you, Daddy!

20th June, 2010: Today is Father’s Day; one of the few days when you actually think about doing something for your parents. It’s funny how throughout the year; that is excluding two days- Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, we are least concerned about what they’re up to and what we should do to cheer them up. Thanking them seems out of the question because they’re parents! They’re supposed to do that! And then when these days arrive, one realizes his fault and then tries to do all that which he paid no heed to throughout the year. It’s just like Independence Day, when every other person is holding a flag, dressed up in shalwar kameez and trying to indicate that they are TRUE patriots!
And today too, we with our hypocritical souls would get up in the morning; most probably make tea for dad, talk to him, have a good convo, AND there is a high probability that we might even end up giving him a present (a wallet or might be a tie) which he would happily yet reluctantly (saying: “Kids aren’t supposed to give presents to their parents”) accept. The day would end with dad being happy and the kid thinking that he has done something great! (Of course, he spent his own pocket money on that gift- that’s no joke!) The next day would be a normal day, with the same old attitude and the same I-am-not-listening response to their never-ending guidelines. Ah! 20th June seemed to be a miraculous day- right? But close to me, it did nothing in changing the real you. All that it did as make you more stubborn. You would ‘patiently’ wait for that one day to give your parents a ‘surprise’ instead of making every single day special for them. That’s what these days are for, right? To make one day special in your parents life and tell them: “You know what dad; I love you for all that you’ve done for me”. Never do we ponder over this even for a second that dad might have been waiting to hear this ‘I love you’ since ages. Thanks to the newspaper, we are duly informed of our ‘responsibility’ towards our parents. If it wouldn’t have been for them, 20th June would have been the same old day, with a monotonous beginning and a typical-and-not-so-happy ending.

All that I wanted to put across through this post was that instead of celebrating one day as ‘Father’s Day’, wouldn’t it be better to make every day father’s day or every day Mother’s day????? Why should our feelings be restricted to one day? This day, indeed, acts as a stimulant, helping us to release all our feelings which would have been mustered up inside, but why should we keep building up that mountain of emotions inside us, when we can always let go off them and make our parents realize DAILY that we do care about them, and we do appreciate all that they’ve done for us. Trust me, if it wouldn’t have been for the newspaper, I wouldn’t even have got to know that today is Father’s Day. And this guilt deep inside is killing me. Though my dad is not here with me right now; miles and miles away in Saudi Arabia, and that I have never got a chance to spend the entire year with him, today I feel as if I’ve never been a good daughter. Even during those phone calls, never did I thank him for what he has done for me. Now while I write this, I can only wish for time to turn back and this guilt to wash away.

Today would end, and you would fall asleep without gaining anything from this one day. Tomorrow would begin and like this the entire year would pass by. Father’s day 2011 would be a similar day, and every Father’s Day in your life would be a monotonous one. Why wait for this one day? Might be I don’t even live long enough to celebrate the next Father’s Day; why not express my love to dad every day? So that when I die, I don’t end up having this guilt in my heart that I never told my dad how much I actually loved him.

Life's reality!

AH! My very own quote!!! :):)

"You can't MAKE friends. You just meet them the way God has planned it. Because they've always been destined to be a part of your life, since your very first breath."

MUSIC- It's in the air that I breathe!

It’s something every single person in this world is aware of. But putting its meaning in words is one of the most difficult things imaginable.

‘How to define music has long been the subject of debate; philosophers, musicians, and, more recently, various social and natural scientists have argued about what constitutes music. The definition has varied through history, in different regions, and within societies. Definitions vary as music, like art, is a subjectively perceived phenomenon. Its definition has been tackled by philosophers of art, lexicographers, composers, music, musicians, linguists, sociologists, and neurologists. Music may be defined according to various criteria including organization, pleasantness, intent, social construction, perceptual processes and engagement, universal aspects or family resemblances and through contrast or negative definition’.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Definition_of_music

Recently only I had asked a friend of mine, if she could define what music actually is? She was silent, struggling for the right words. Just then another friend of mine responded to the question which had been posed. “The definition of music varies from person to person.”

For a while, I couldn’t digest what I was being told. ‘Music’- All that came to my mind when I would hear this word was Avril Lavigne, Celin Dion, Adam Lambert (Yes! :P) or in short you-tube. But after listening to what she said, I got lost in my thoughts. What about the chirping of the birds; the sound of the waves hitting the cliffs; the raindrops crashing against the window panes; the swaying of the trees; the rustling of the lush, green leaves or the howling of the wind…all of this together too formed a symphony . And I guess it is supposed to be the MOST beautiful symphony of all.

After googling for a couple of minutes this is what I got; Music is:
• an artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones in a structured and continuous manner
• any agreeable (pleasing and harmonious) sounds; "he fell asleep to the music of the wind chimes"
• musical activity (singing or whistling etc.); "his music was his central interest"
• (music) the sounds produced by singers or musical instruments (or reproductions of such sounds)
Source: wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

I searched for a long time, with the aim of attaining a prefect definition of ‘music’. However, in the end all that I got was unsatisfactory. Or should I say ‘incomplete’ in some way or the other. And then after my unsuccessful attempts in getting a perfect definition, I realized how true my friend’s statement was. “The definition of music varies from person to person.” Wherever I went, I found a different meaning, with a different perspective which did not satisfy me. I had a totally different opinion about music, which slowly changed as I viewed each definition. Nothing was WRONG, but I wouldn’t say that whatever I read was RIGHT (close to me). Something was missing; something which according to me was important. And in the end, I settled the matter differently. Music is one word which cannot be defined. To some the sounds of nature might be music. To some the Avril Lavigne-type of songs might be music. To some the metallic-crap (as I call it: P) might be music. And to some, even the heart beat might be music.

Well, this was not actually what I had wished to convey through this post, but sadly human beings have a habit of dragging things and stretching sentences to give the elegant look to their piece of writing. Unfortunately, I am included in the same category. Today, while going through the newspaper I read something which close to me was worth sharing. We ALL believe in this that music has a GREAT effect on our lives. It influences our thinking, our feelings and even our actions. Linked to this belief a study had been conducted in Paris.

Music key to love, assert scientists

PARIS, June 18: French researchers have provided scientific backing to the thinking that music plays key role in matters of the heart.

In an unusual piece of research, investigators from the universities of Southern Brittany and Southern Paris recruited 87 single women aged 18 to 20.

The volunteers each spent five minutes in a waiting room where one of two carefully-selected tunes played in the background. Lurking in another room was a young man, who had also been carefully selected, by another panel of women, to be “average” in looks.

After exposure to the background music, the woman was instructed to discuss the difference between two food products — an organic cookie and a non-organic cookie — with the young man. At the end of their conversation, the young man used a standard chat-up line, asking the girl for her phone number and saying he wanted to ask her out for a drink.

What swayed his chances of success was the music that had been played in the waiting room, the researchers found.

When a “neutral” song — “L’heure du the” (“Time for tea”) by Vincent Delerm — was played, only 28 per cent of women responded positively.

But when the romantic ballad “Je l’aime a mourir” (“I love her to death”) by Francis Cabrel was played, his success rate nearly doubled, to 52 per cent.

“Our results confirm that the effect of exposure to media content is not limited to violence and could have the potential to influence a high spectrum of behaviour,” said Nicolas Gueguen, one of the three researchers. The research appeared in a peer-reviewed journal, Psychology of Music.—AFP
Source: http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/the-newspaper/front-page/music-key-to-love,-assert-scientists-960

So if you’re one of those who despise always-falling-in-love-and-then-acting-all-emo-type of people, stay away from lovey-dovey music. Exposure to it might sooner or later result in you being a part of that ‘kind’.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Living Life All Over Again- SIUT

12th June 2010. Exactly, 8.30 a.m.
For the first time when I saw the SIUT building, I was shocked for words. At that instant all that came to my mind was: “This is SIUT. The place where so many people get hope for a new beginning; a new life“
And to be frank, this is what I and I guess, many students had actually written when we were told to fill in the forms for the Student Volunteer program. At that time, I still wasn’t aware of the REAL role of SIUT; which only became evident once I became a part of it.
Luckily, I got selected to relish this experience. Volunteer work was something I had never been acquainted with earlier. And it was THAT day: 12th June 2010 which made me realize the importance of this word “volunteer”.
We got to see the entire hospital that day, even OPD 14, for which we specially had to walk under the sun, and leave behind the centrally air conditioned hospital. And that day was all that was needed to see the reality of life; to witness the different shades of existence and to understand the true meaning of survival. Poverty had just been a mere word for me till then. That day I understood what it actually meant- when you sit on the bare ground if you’re tired- you’re poor…… when you smile despite the unbearable pain you’re going through- you’re poor…… when you eat whatever is available- you’re poor……when you enjoy even a sip of cold water- you’re poor…… when you learn how to bear your child’s pain without shedding a tear- you’re poor….Poverty…yes, that day, this was poverty close to me.
Every human being has a right to live. That is what we ALL believe in. Yet, while we sit in our cozy homes, we forget this portion of God’s creation. Close to us, the only solution to their pain is money. But what we forget is this that they need something more than money… they need something to soothe their disturbed souls…they need love. And as a volunteer I was able to fulfill my obligation; my responsibility. The visit to the pediatrics’ OPD taught me how to share the pain of those little kids, laugh at their jokes, smile at their innocence, and imagine a better world with them being a part of it.
Six days went by and never did one feel as if he was DOING something voluntarily. It all seemed a part of life, and every person whom we spent time with in the hospital appeared to be a part of us; their happiness turned into our happiness, and their sorrows became our sorrows. We ourselves started a new life, this time with a clearer conscience, realizing that life is not only about US, it’s also about THEM.

PS: SIUT- Sindh Institute Of Urology and Transplantation